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Doug Dane Coaching

Handling Judgments And The Monkey on Your Back.

Today let's explore how you can navigate your interactions with others without letting their judgments become your burdens. Drawing insights from an enlightening conversation with a client I coach, issues surrounding judgment are far from limited to our personal lives. In fact, they often seep into our professional world, affecting relationships and business dynamics. This conversation was inside my Inner Circle Group Coaching Call. Understanding the Monkey on Your Back At the heart of our conversation is the analogy about having 'The Monkey On Your Back'. Imagine a scenario where an employee comes to you with a monkey on their shoulder, a symbol for their problem. They try to hand this monkey over to you. If you take the monkey, you’ve now accepted their problem, it has become your burden to bear. This is a common occurrence in professional environments where superiors, driven by their instincts to resolve issues, often end up bearing responsibilities that aren't theirs to own. This comes from the book The One Minute Manager Meets the Monkey. Navigating Through Judgments with Empathy So, how do we deal with the judgments and criticisms that come our way? The answer lies in empathy and understanding. When people are judgmental, it's often due to their personal struggles or circumstances rather than a direct reflection of you. Recognize when people attempt to offload their monkeys onto you and instead of taking it personally, be understanding and empathetic. However, empathy does not mean owning their monkey. You should acknowledge the monkey, but ensure that it is returned to the one who brought it. In essence, while it is important to be empathetic, it is equally important not to shoulder other people's problems. Building Emotional Resilience Not allowing others' judgments to affect us is a journey of building emotional resilience. By understanding that people's judgments are often reflections of their own struggles, we free ourselves from the unnecessary burden of owning their problems. In conclusion, remember, the next time you find yourself in the face of judgment or criticism, don't let the monkey jump from their shoulder to yours. Be empathetic, be understanding, but most importantly, don't own the monkey. As we navigate our interactions with empathy and clear boundaries, we not only foster healthier relationships but also cultivate emotional resilience, a cornerstone of personal and professional success.

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